Death Did Us Part
by The Only Pancake
Summary: Hollypaw/Ashfur darkfic! Written pre-Dark River. Ashfur forces Hollypaw into to playing his favorite new game, a dangerous and terrifying game of survival. Only one is allowed to win. Can Hollypaw escape this twisted tom, or will he tear her life apart?
1. Morning Mentor

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AN**__: Hey, everyone! This is the parallel story to my fic _Love You To Death_. Welcome back readers of that one; and hello to any new readers!!_

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The moon was bright in the sky, illuminating the snowflakes as they gently floated down from Silverpelt and dappled my coat, as well as the coats of the other cats on the moonhigh patrol. Brackenfur, Whitewing, and Cinderfur were those others. Everything had been very quiet in the forest tonight. Even the crickets seemed to be asleep!

The she-cats, as bored as I was, started gossiping about things. Whitewing looked at Cinderfur and asked, "Did you hear that Dustpelt might be joining the elders this greenleaf?"

My first thought upon hear this was- why did anyone actually care what was happening two whole seasons from now? As an afterthought, I noticed I was a bit curious to hear this conversation. He was not just my former mentor, but also the mate of my only sister.

Cinderfur looked surprised. "Really? He's still so vigorous!"

"He is twice _my_ age," Brackenfur pointed out. "And this greencough is proving harsh on all infected with it."

The she-cats both nodded, understanding that. Whitewing flicked her tail tip and sighed, "It's still so hard to believe."

I bounded up to them from where I had been trailing behind in the back of the patrol. "Losing three of his kits took a lot out of him." I pointed out gently. I felt a pang in my heart as I recalled Ferncloud's grief over the death of Hollykit, Larchkit, and Shrewpaw. I added on a more humorous note, "Besides, Hazelpelt must have been hard to keep tabs on!"

We all chuckled at that. It had not been long since Hazelpelt and her brothers were made warriors. She was quieter then they were, but she was most definitely a spitfire.

Brackenfur purred, his tone playful, "I'm surprised he took another apprentice after Squirrelflight!" I tried not to flinch at the name. Brackenfur continued, "When she was a kit, we were all a little worried about who would mentor her. She was really headstrong."

"Her spirit made her a great warrior." Cinderfur commented conversationally, looking directly at Whitewing again. "Mother told us stories of the badger attack we were born during. She said that Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight got all of the other queens out. That has got to require a special sort of spirit."

I couldn't stop myself from mumbling, "Squirrelflight is a very special cat." The girls fell silent when they heard my bitter tone. Whitewing lowered her ears sympathetically. She was old enough to remember the days when Squirrelflight and I had a thing between us.

Every day. Every single day that passed just made it worse. It was like a blackthorn being _ripped_ across my heart when I had to see that ginger cat with our deputy. Even when I looked at Lionpaw, I couldn't help but seeing his mother's fire burning inside of him.

Brackenfur, my closest friend in the Clan beside Thornclaw, gently set his tailtip on my shoulder. He mewed too quietly for the others to hear. "There are others, Ashfur. Look at how long it took for Sorreltail and I to come together. StaCclan will send you someone else to love, just give it time."

I said nothing as I looked away from him. There was a gentle scuttling up ahead, and Brackenfur snapped his ears forward. He signaled for us to stop and we did. Falling into the hunter's crouch, he steadily began to pad forward. When the vole came into sight he bolted forward.

The vole burrowed in the snow. Brackenfur lurched sideways suddenly, yowling in fright as he began to scrabble. His back legs had slipped over the sheer edge of the hollow. Gasping, I bolted forward to try and grab him. My teeth sank deeply into his foreleg because it was all I had the chance to get a grip on. Brackenfur wailed in pain and instinctively ripped his limb away from me. Half of a second later he had disappeared over the edge of the hollow.

"_Brackenfur!_" I hollered after him, my heart thrumming in my chest so violently I could swear it was trying to rip right out. His desperate cry was cut short, and I scrambled off of the ice. Whitewing and Cinderfur were already running towards the thorn barrier. I dashed after them, easily overtaking their speed as I burst through the tunnel leading to our camp.

Brightheart and Sandstorm were already at his side, Leafpool darting from her den to join them. I skidded beside Brightheart, my eyes wide with horror. Brackenfur was lying at an awkward position; I felt a small relief when I saw he was still breathing.

Firestar, Brambleclaw, and Mousefur had all arrived; the last of the awake cats gathered now around Brackenfur. Firestar asked calmly, "What happened?"

Whitewing's eyes were locked onto the unmoving body of her former mentor when she answered. "We were just returning from the patrol! He was hunting and just fell!"

"There was ice." I interjected, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears.

"Ashfur tried to grab him." Cinderfur added, her eyes drifting to his badly bleeding leg.

Not much else could be said before Leafpool began to bark orders. "Brambleclaw, Sandstorm, help me move him to my den. Everyone else stay out!" Obediently the two warriors heaved the unconscious cat to his feet, and the three of them slowly crossed the camp.

Sorreltail was the only cat allowed into the medicine cat's den while Brackenfur was being treated. Jaypaw would shout out Brackenfur's status to us when he had the chance.

_Not doing so well. _

_There is hope._

_Discovered a terrible shoulder injury._

_Well, he's still breathing..._

Several of us were sitting and waiting for a full report from Leafpool, while most made an effort to just go about their day. It was just after sunup when Hollypaw went streaking into the den. I stayed in the center of the clearing for a while until the young she-cat came back out. Firestar called her over and asked, "How's Brackenfur doing?"

"He won't be better until at least the full moon, I don't think." She answered glumly. "Leafpool wants him to rest right now."

"You'll need a new mentor until then." Firestar quietly informed her. I felt a strange spark of fire ignite inside of me. Hollypaw was my friend's apprentice. She was the sister to my _own_ apprentice. She was... the daughter of the cat my heart loved. Some part of me felt obligated to take her under my wing, at least for a while.

I announced, "I'll take her." Her eyes snapped onto me, and Firestar tilted his head a little as he awaited an explanation to my eagerness. I stood beside Hollypaw; "I was just going to take Lionpaw out hunting. A little competition with his sister will be good for him."

Firestar nodded his acceptance, so I turned my gaze onto the apprentice. "Can you wake Lionpaw, and then meet me at the tunnel?"

She nodded before racing off. Firestar meowed, "I'll start asking around for permanent mentors this afternoon. You'll be fine with them both for today?"

I dipped my head, "Yes, Firestar."

Flicking his tail in a good-bye to me, he stalked towards Leafpool's den. I crossed the camp and nestled beside the thorn barrier, patiently waiting for my charges to arrive. The two cats bundled over a few moments later. I narrowed my eyes and sternly pointed out to Lionpaw, "The early riser catches the bird." I was getting very tired of his constant lagging!

Lionpaw lowered his head and muttered his usual excuse, "Sorry, Ashfur. I didn't get much sleep."

I snorted at him and turned, pushing through the thorn tunnel. I heard the apprentices whispering behind me, but paid them no attention. It was not long before Lionpaw had padded up to my shoulder. He asked, bright-eyed, "Are we doing battle training today, Ashfur?"

"No." I answered instantly. "Foxpaw and Icepaw are doing battle training, so somebody must hunt for the Clan. We're going hunting."

He fell silent as we made out way deep into the forest. I heard a dull thudding and dropped onto my haunches. Startled, the apprentices did the same. A squirrel was trying to open a nut a few yards away from us. I meowed quietly, "Lionpaw, you try for it."

Lionpaw moved forward, clumsily messing up the _wrong _sort of stalk_._ A greenhorn mistake! Lionpaw charged after it, the noise he made probably scaring half the forest. Hollypaw surprised me when she streaked forward and finished the squirrel off before it was out of sight.

My apprentice ended up running right into his sister. He took a step back and hissed angrily, "I was _about_ to get it, _Hollypaw!_ I can catch my own prey!"

I slowly padded forward. The spirited black apprentice's fur rose and she snarled, "You were nowhere close, _Lionpaw!_ The Clan will never be fed with _your_ poor stalking techniques." They glared at one another, each looking very defensive.

I came up beside them, growling in annoyance. "You took the words right out of my mouth, Hollypaw." My eyes narrowed sharply and I looked directly into Lionpaw's amber eyes, scolding, "You're too old to be making greenhorn mistakes like that! You're nearly a warrior, and you can't even catch a squirrel!"

The tom lowered his eyes when he realized what a disgrace he was to us both. Why did _I_ have to mentor this tom? He was never focused anymore, and it made him look like a foolish apprentice. Not only that, it made _me_ seem like a bad mentor! I never had this sort of trouble with Birchfall!

I smiled warmly at Hollypaw, not wanting her to feel I was angry with as well. She had shown rare agility and cleverness just now. It reminded me heavily of another she-cat I knew. "Good catch, though, Hollypaw. You're a brilliant hunter. Just like Squirrelflight."

"Thanks." she responded, sounding embarrassed with my praise.

I signaled for them to follow and changed direction. There was no way we'd find so much as a blink shrew around in this area. Lionpaw's heavy weight shook the ground; all the woodland creatures would have felt it and burrowed.

A wing fluttered somewhere near me, and several moments later I had caught the magpie which was startled by our patrol. On my way back to the apprentices I heard Lionpaw growl. He sprang and landed on his sister, flattening her into the snow. She slipped out of his grasp like a fish and delivered a strong blow to his shoulder.

Setting the bird down, I settled in to watch them practice. There was no harm in it, I suppose. Maybe Lionpaw needed to burn his energy so he could concentrate.

Lionpaw turned on his sister, his ears perking excitedly. He had that usual flame to his eyes as he struck Hollypaw back. His larger, heavier paw connected with her muzzle and she looked stunned. I couldn't hold back a glimmer of pride as I watched. Lionpaw was young and still had a lot to learn, but no cat could deny he was excelling at fighting with exceptional speed.

With a magnificent amount of grace, Hollypaw tripped her brother while managing to stay on her own paws. Snow was caught in her raven fur, making it sparkle like Silverpelt as the sunlight filtered upon her. I watched her well-toned muscles rippling beneath her pelt as she sprang on top of Lionpaw. Her foot jammed against his throat and she lifted her head.

I half-laughed and half-purred, "She wins." The hold the young cat had on her brother wouldn't be broken out of without Lionpaw choking. Hollypaw took a step off and let Lionpaw come to his paws. I felt myself unable to look away from the young she-cat. Why had I never noticed how much power she had under that slender body before?

"That was a good move!" Lionpaw praised, his voice snapping me back into reality. "Did Brackenfur teach it to you?"

"No," she declined, shaking her head a little. "I guess I just did it."

"You both did well." I assured them proudly. They would be warriors soon, and they would be an asset to ThunderClan.

A mouse scuttled near-by, and Lionpaw charged after it. My attention was totally on Hollypaw, still. Her coat was wet from rolling around in the snow, and I could assume Lionpaw's was as well. With greencough in the camp, they needed to return to their nests to dry themselves or they would fall sick before sunhigh tomorrow.

"Are we going to be out much longer, Ashfur?" she asked as she shivered, almost reading my mind.

I shook my head. "No, we'll return as soon as Lionpaw comes back." Her bright green gaze made my fur flush with the warmth of a thousand suns, and I said before I could stop myself, "You have your mother's eyes."

The she-cat looked terribly startled, and she attempted to cope with her surprise by answering, "Oh, well I've been told-"

The young cat fell silent when Lionpaw jumped through the bracken, two mice dangling from his jaws. Before another word could be said I clamped my magpie in my teeth and started for home.

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	2. The Game

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"Ashfur?" Someone called to me, his or her voice sounding muffled to me as I was awoken from sleep. "Ashfur! Get up! Come on, lazy lump, Firestar's called a clan meeting."

It took me only a second to recognize the voice of Cloudtail. I lifted my head, blinking as the bright morning sun filtered through the little patches in the den wall, blinding me. I felt my fur ruffle against the cold as the wind blew. Cloudtail had joined Brightheart, and he began to leave the den.

"What's the meeting about, anyway?" Spiderleg complained good-naturedly. "It's too early for this!"

Several of us senior warriors purred in amusement. Thornclaw reported, "He canceled dawn patrol for it. Hollypaw is getting her new mentor today."

With that said, we all filed out of the den and made way over to the clearing below the highrock.

Once the apprentices and elders had arrived, Firestar began to speak. "As we all know, Brackenfur's shoulder will not be entirely healed for nearly an entire moon. I have spoken with him, and with some of the other warriors. We agree that a new mentor must be chosen for Hollypaw."

I glanced at the young she-cat. Her eyes were despondently trained on the stone under our paws, and her ears were lowered in defeat. I felt my heart thrum with pain as I looked at her sorrow. It must be very difficult for her to lose her mentor, especially because they thought so highly of one another. I, personally, would be rather upset if someone else was training Lionpaw. He may be irksome, but I was proud of him.

"Graystripe, you will take over her training. Pass onto her your wisdom and your courage." Firestar announced cheerfully. My whiskers twitched in amusement as Hollypaw instantly perked up. One could assume she approved of this choice. As a kit, I always looked up to the warriors like Graystripe, too, even if our clan mates scorned him for having been a Riverclan cat for a while.

The two greeted, and we all turned to go about our business. I had just come up to Lionpaw's side when Poppyspots and Cinderfur bounded over to us. Cinderfur asked, "Are you going hunting, Ashfur?" I nodded, and she meowed hopefully, "Can we come with you guys?"

Lionpaw was the only apprentice not in battle training today. The clan would need help hunting from the other young warriors. I accepted, "Sure. Come on." Our little group slipped out of thorn tunnel in a single file line. Brambleclaw was outside with several other warriors. He perked his ears and glanced over his shoulder as he heard us approaching.

"Hey! Are you all going hunting?" He asked hopefully. When Cinderfur told him yes, he flicked his tail at the three other cats with him; Sandstorm, Sorreltail, and Berrynose. "Join Sandstorm's patrol."

He joined up with his own patrol of cats. Probably a border patrol, as the dawn one was canceled for the mentoring ceremony. Sandstorm began to lead the troop into the forest, heading towards the lake.

I fell into the back with Sorreltail. Brushing her flank with my tail tip I asked quietly, "How's Brackenfur today?"

Her sad amber eyes met mine, and she sighed. "Not much better. He's so stiff he can barely move himself. Jaypaw says that it'll be a few more suns before the muscles are able to relax fully."

"He would know!" Berrynose butted into our conversation. "He's the mousebrain that ran right off the edge of the hollow when he was a kit."

"That wasn't his fault!" Lionpaw instantly, angrily, defended his brother. "He couldn't see where he was, or have you forgotten that he's blind?"

The young warrior's eyes flashed, and his neck fur begun to bristle with Cinderfur and Poppyspots chuckled at him. Fur fluffing out, Berrynose snorted rudely, "Right, it was _your_ fault then! You and Hollypaw are the ones who dragged him off to find a fox, of all the stupid things!"

Lionpaw stiffened and his ears perked. He quite suddenly reared around, facing Berrynose as he stalked within striking distance. He snarled, "We were just kits! We didn't know that we'd be in danger."

Sniffing arrogantly, the warrior goaded, "You lot were stupid kits, then."

A furious cry erupted from Lionpaw's chest, and he bowled right into Berrynose. Screeching in fury, the warrior grabbed onto Lionpaw and they started tussling violently. I felt a sharp stab of impatience with the two young and hotheaded toms. Sandstorm apparently shared this feeling. She commanded fiercely, "You two, _knock it off_!"

The order from the senior warrior did not go un-noticed by the toms. They fell apart an instant later, chests heaving. Berrynose spat at Lionpaw, his eyes a light with a challenging fire. Of course, as I'd expected, my daring apprentice took that challenge. He flung himself at Berrynose a second time. Alarm seemed to coarse through everyone else on the patrol, because suddenly a heated spat had turned into a vicious brawl.

I dove in between them, shouldering Lionpaw away and flattening Berrynose onto his back in one fluid motion. I snarled and my ears pinned back against my skull. Both toms immediately relaxed into submissive postures.

"_What_ in the name of Starclan is _wrong_ with you two?" I demanded, my voice scathing. They both opened their mouths, and I silenced them with a lash of my tail as I stepped off of Berrynose. Rhetorical questions didn't need answers. I hissed, "Berrynose, you're a warrior. Shape up and act like one!" The young cat flinched away from me, and I rounded on Lionpaw. He held his ground, his chin raised. I growled, "Lionpaw, you let yourself give into silly taunts. I expect better out of you."

I felt Cinderfur appear at my shoulder. She gave me a timid nudge; her blue eyes round with surprise. I realized all the she-cats were gazing strangely at me. I had let my temper show too aggressively. I took a deep breath to calm myself and forced my fur to lie flat, turning my head the other direction.

Sandstorm took over. She instructed, "Berrynose, find Brambleclaw and join the warrior patrol. I expect you to explain to him that you're not responsible enough to attend a hunt with your clanmates. I'll talk to Brambleclaw later and make sure he was told."

Lowering his ears and shooting a glare at Lionpaw, Berrynose sprinted the opposite direction. Sandstorm's gaze rested onto Lionpaw now. She met my eye and snorted. "I'll let Ashfur deal with you. You're not _my_ apprentice."

She stalked away, and we all fell into step behind her. I came up beside Lionpaw and gave him a stern look. He lowered his head just a little and muttered to me, "I know what you're going to say, so don't bother. I don't care if he _is_ a clanmate or not. No cat is going to talk about Hollypaw and Jaypaw that way without answering to _me_."

I felt a grudging admiration for his spirit enter me. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd take on Firestar himself for implying any of his family was less than wonderful. Hollypaw _was_ quite wonderful. She needed a good tom that was willing to fight for her. She didn't need her brother, though. She needed me.

I caught Lionpaw off guard when I meowed, my tone friendlier than usual, "Jaypaw can defend himself just fine, his tongue is sharper than any set of claws. You should start thinking more about Poppyspots than your siblings. Hollypaw has others who can fight for her."

His ears perked and he lifted his tail, nodding once before he bounded over to Poppyposts and Cinderfur. He purred gently and rubbed his head against Poppyspots's shoulder.

I had taken it that I had the silent approval of Lionpaw. I didn't _need_ it, but it gave me a glimmer of hope. If her over-protective brother were so willing to let his grasp on her ease, perhaps my other obstacles would be easy to get around. Jaypaw and Mouseclaw were not a problem for me. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw I'd have more difficulty with.

It was Hollypaw herself, though, which would require the most effort to convince. I knew, though, that I was willing to do _anything_ I had to if it would make her give into me. If it would make her duck under _my_ protective wing, and shelter there forever.

* * *

We returned a while after sunhigh, with quite a notable catch considering it was leaf-bare. I sent Lionpaw, as well as Hazeltail and Whitewing, to clear out the elder's and Leafpool's dens today. With the other apprentices busy the young warriors could step in and help. When Foxpaw and Icepaw returned a few moments later, Cloudtail told them to help.

We all lazed around in the warm sunlight for the rest of the afternoon. My ears pricked when I heard Graystripe's voice nearby. Turning my head to the half-rock, I saw that Hollypaw was there. She looked half-asleep, and exhausted. I smiled a little bit as I pushed myself to my paws. Brackenfur had made her an exceptional hunter, and it was clear Graystripe planned on honing her battle skills.

I grabbed a particularly plump thrush from the fresh-kill pile and crossed the camp. Looking over Hollypaw, I dropped the bird at her feet then watched for her reaction. She opened her eyes and looked at the bird in surprise, glancing up at me. I explained simply, "You looked hungry."

Her stomach growled at that very second, making young Icepaw chuckle. She smiled and pulled the bird over to her. "I guess I am. Want to share?"

A thrill of hope shot through me, and I settled down beside her. I happily started plucking the annoying feathers from the bird, and it was swiftly prepared for consumption. I offered her the first bite, and it was not long after that we had finished it off. Hollypaw asked me, "So where did Lionpaw run off to?"

Taking about a cat's sibling was an icebreaker when it came to affectionate conversations. Squirrelflight and I were always questioning the health and happenings of Ferncloud and Leafpool at first. I felt a surge of excitement as I motioned towards the elder's den. Lionpaw was sharing a rabbit with Longtail and Poppyspots there.

Jaypaw sighed suddenly, rolling onto his paws. "I have sick cats to tend to. I'll see you in the den, okay, Hollypaw?" She answered him, "I'll probably be asleep, but okay." The tom stalked away, grabbing two voles for Dustpelt and Honeyleaf. Icepaw bounced to her feet and followed when she saw Ferncloud making her way there as well.

Alone at last, I inched myself nearer to Hollypaw. I could feel her heat radiating off of her pelt as the cold wind chilled us all. Purring under my breath I tenderly rasped my tongue across her ear- inviting her to share tongues with me on a deeper level than just a friendly clanmate sort of way.

It elated me when she purred neck and her tongue connected with my shoulder fur. I had set up the playing field for the game of love, and she just tossed on her piece.

We soon fell into a heavy pattern. I was immune to the feeling of eyes on my back as I washed that soft, earthy-scented fur. I had fallen into my own little world, where only the two of us existed.

"_Ashfur_!" I heard my name snapped from the center of the camp. It was a voice I had grown to pity. Brambleclaw, trapped in Squirrelflight's faithless pool of mock-affection. I looked over my shoulder and watched the great deputy as he came over to us. His eyes were blazing with hate, and his stiff walk made it clear he was wound up from the sight of Hollypaw and me.

I flexed my paws a little bit, lying calmly as I met his gaze. My voice was chillingly cool when I responded. "What is it, Brambleclaw?"

"Up for the sunset patrol?" He asked, his tone making it clear this was no suggestion. "I need someone to lead it."

I shrugged indifferently. What was a patrol going to do to stop me from being near Hollypaw? I was going to see her tomorrow. And the next day, and the day after that. Every single sun from now until Starclan we had the change to be together.

I was not bothered by this slight setback. I asked calmly, "Who else is coming?"

"Brightheart, Mouseclaw, and Birchfall." He shot back at me a half of a second later.

I gathered myself on my paws, glancing at Hollypaw. I hoped my gaze seemed to say what I could not. _We'll play later, my sweet. The game is not over yet._ "I'll talk to you later, Hollypaw." She nodded and I bounded across the camp to find the others.

No, the game was not even close to over. The game would never end.

* * *


	3. Keeping Her

* * *

It was well into sun-up when I woke the next morning. I stretched myself, and gave my coat a through wash, as I remained lying in my nest. It wasn't long before Ferncloud woke. I immediately padded over to her and asked, "Can you take Lionpaw out for battle training today?"

She looked surprised. "Oh, sure. But why?"

"I just have some things I need to do." I answered evasively. I wanted to see if I could get Graystripe to let me come along with him and Hollypaw. He'd b preoccupied hunting or patrolling. I could talk to her alone, then.

My sister seemed to understand, and she smiled warmly at me. "Okay. Thornclaw!" She turned and prodded the elder warrior awake. He snapped his head up, blinking away his sleep-haze. Ferncloud playfully demanded, "You're taking Lionpaw to the training hollow with me. Come on, let's go get him."

The two of them bounded out of the warrior's den. I made a mental note to thank my sister later as I, more slowly, pushed my way into the sunlight. I had to blink a few times to half-shield my eyes as they tried to adjust to the brightness. I heard the leaves rustle behind me as Brambleclaw came. A second later someone shouted my name.

Turning my head, I saw Hollypaw trotting over here. Her tail lifted and she asked neutrally, "Will you take a walk with me?" I assumed she had been trying to stay so guarded because her father was looming not a rabbit hop away. I silently padded besides her, brushing my side against hers along the way.

At first, I was too gleeful to really do anything but follow her lead. My eyes kept darting onto her, watching her, _learning_ her. How her ears swiveled at the soft sounds of the forest. How her tail was always lower than her back, but somehow still raised with confidence and pride. The way her muscles rippled under her pelt in her flank and shoulder areas.

Her eyes were bothering me. They were not bright and eager like they had been two days ago. Instead, they were a little bit dark and clouded with thought. I asked kindly, "Is something on your mind, Hollypaw?"

She flinched, which deeply worried me. Had something happened? Flicking her tail for me to follow her she darted forward. I steadily sprang after her, and in several long bounds we had come to the fence of the two-leg nest. We padded through the broken gate and up the strange wooden platform outside the hole that led into the nest.

Hollypaw was sitting down when I entered. I settled across from her, sitting attentively as I waited to hear what she had to tell me. Her voice was gentle when she finally spoke. "Ashfur, we're… friends, aren't we?"

I felt happiness surge through me and I purred, "Yes, I think so."

She caught me terribly off-guard when she meowed quietly, "I know that you want to be more than that, but I'm not ready to be. I don't…"

_"I don't think that we are meant for each other, Ashfur." Squirrelflight said gently, her pretty green eyes shining sadly. "It's just not the same anymore. I feel more right with Brambleclaw."_

_I flinched in disbelief, feeling my heart begin to constrict. "But... you told me that you wanted me." What was she implying here? Wasn't I good enough for her? I had tried to be here for her. I tried my hardest!_

"_I thought I did. I still do, just not the way _you_ want me to." She responded firmly, the tip of her tail flicking nervously._

_The pressure on my heart increased, as painful as eagle claws gripping it. I complained, "You said you cared about me! Was that just a lie?" My voice had become sharp with accusation as the shock from her words settled in._

"_Look, Ashfur," she demanded, a trace of hot annoyance in her voice. I really care about you as a friend, but I don't want anything more than that."_

"_But I love you!" I insisted, perhaps a little too loudly. Her eyes flashed dangerously, silently warning me not to push that card too far. I hesitated at her anger and added, "We'd be great together, Squirrelflight, I know we would."_

_When I was an apprentice, I didn't understand love. I had the kit-version of love; that strong sense of protectiveness and loyalty, that need to be a little friendlier to one she-cat over the others, with Tawnypelt. She left the clans before a relationship could blossom between us._

_But Squirrelflight had welcomed me into her heart. I pushed _everything_ else aside to make room for her. Didn't any of that matter anymore?_

"_I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but Brambleclaw- I think Starclan has destined us to be together." A small smile graced her beautiful face, and the talons of those eagle claws slowly started to pierce my heart._

"_I don't know how you can say that!" I said sharply, trying my hardest to stop myself from snarling. "You said yourself that it was impossible to trust a cat with Brambleclaw's heritage. He's a great cat, I know, but he is still Tigerstar's son."_

_Fury blazed in her eyes and she snapped, "I'll judge Brambleclaw by his own actions. Not by something that other cats did long before I was born."_

_Danger alerts flared inside of my mind. "I'm only thinking of you, Squirrelflight. _I_ can remember Tigerstar. His paws were red with the blood of other cats. You know that he murdered my mother to lure a pack of dogs to our camp?"_

"_Ashfur, I know that Tigerstar's actions hurt you. What he did was cruel and evil." She paused, finding strength to her words again. "But that doesn't mean Brambleclaw will turn out like his father."_

_The great tabby entered the scene. Squirrelflight greeted him with a happy meow and a nose touch._

_The claws ripped my heart into shreds, and I felt myself starting to bleed._

"Squirrelflight…" I whispered unconsciously as I looked into Hollypaw's eyes. Eyes that forced the memories of the past to lash at me like branched during a bad storm. Was I going to lose another cat I could love? To another warrior that didn't belong in the clan- some kittypet from horse place?

_No!_

I sprang to my feet and felt my pelt beginning to stand on end in aggression. Hollypaw flattened herself to the ground. I wailed, the desperate need in my voice mingling with my sudden panic, "I'll wait for you, Hollypaw! If you're not ready that's fine- I will wait for you as long as you need me to." I had tried to push Squirrelflight too fast. Would I make the same mistake twice? "Please, Hollypaw? I lo-"

She hissed before I could finish my promise. A promise that for as long as we were together, I would love her. I would care about her, and only her.

"No, Ashfur." She denied firmly. "It's not meant to be."

Anger pulsed through me. Wasn't she even going to give me a chance? How could she just toss me aside without thinking it through? There _must_ have been a reason that I lost the first cat I ever loved. There simply had to be. I did everything right. I jumped for her. I defended her. I scorned her enemies and embraced her friends. Why would she just leave me like that?

And then, suddenly, I knew. She _had_ to be with Brambleclaw so she could have his kits. So Hollypaw could be born! That had to be it, and the hasty she-cat wasn't even giving it us chance!

"It _is_ meant to be." I demanded, hostility dripping from my tongue. "Starclan took Squirrelflight away from me so you could be born, because it's _you_ I am supposed to love."

She was silent. I lost my nerve. I had to stop this from happening again. I'd never survive another heartbreak. My heart had never been fixed from the last one. I thrust myself forward aggressively, my nose almost colliding with her muzzle. I growled challengingly, "You _will_ be mine, Hollypaw."

Her fear scent spiked dramatically, and ever hair on her body stood on end. She tried to show defiance when she whispered, "No."

_Stop her, Ashfur._

_Keep her._

_Save yourself._

_Do what you have to._

An idea struck me and I pulled to my full height. My tail waved behind me in triumph and I laughed, "Oh, but you will. If you ever want to see Lionpaw made a warrior, you won't leave me."

"What do you mean?" She asked shakily.

I had to force myself to look convincing. I smiled, slapping on a mask of over-confidence. "I'm his mentor. Until I think he's ready, he will remain an apprentice." That was a lie. Firestar would make him a warrior when he wanted to, with or without my consent. The flash of fear in Hollypaw's eyes let me know she fell for the lie. I played along, sounding as threatening as I looked, "Tell me, Hollypaw, is your brother ready to be a warrior?"

Hollypaw slowly rose to her feet. My head began to spin. Was she going to walk away? Surprisingly, she slunk nearer to me. My flesh started to burn when her check pressed to my shoulder. She whispered, "He's ready."

I purred, more delighted than ever before. _She was mine_. Licking her ear I assured her, "I love you, Hollypaw." I impatiently waited to hear her reaction. Would she defy my claim? Would she argue, or would she do nothing?

My heart began to thrum in m chest when I heard her purr back.

* * *


	4. Her Protector

* * *

_**AN**: Sorry for the delay. I was at a friend's house, and then my basement flooded. Uug.

* * *

_

My tail was twined with Hollypaw's along the walk home. She was very quiet, but I suspected she was just digesting this new milestone in her life. We walked shoulder-to-shoulder as we pushed our ways out of the thick gorse wall near the entrance of the hollow. Shock stung me when I saw a familiar, pale ginger coat. Squirrelflight and Stormfur were back, and talking to Firestar.

I glared at Hollypaw, my eyes warning her to act happy. She didn't move from my side. I felt eyes on my pelt and looked forward. Firestar was watching us, surprise deeply lining every feature on his face. _That she-cat_ glanced over her shoulder and I watched her pupils grow as large as full moons. "Hollypaw…?" She was at a loss for words.

Hollypaw purred kindly, "I'm glad you're back. How were things in Riverclan?"

"Fine." She answered instantly. "I see we missed a lot."

A growl bubbled out of my throat, and I saw Squirrelfight's eyes flash with worry. The very space between us seemed to scorch when I growled, "You don't need to know everything, Squirrelflight."

I led Hollypaw towards the barrier, glaring sideways. Firestar and Stormfur shared a confused glance, but _she_ looked horrified. I narrowed my eyes and looked away as I ducked through the tunnel. I emerged into the camp and felt myself letting go of the cat I tried so hard to cling onto, fully embracing my new life with Hollypaw.

* * *

The next day, the whole clan knew that Hollypaw and I were now mates. Most of the clan was on our side. There were only a few that gave me unhappy glares in the warrior's den. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were the ringleaders. Stormfur, Brook, and Mouseclaw were the others.

I ignored them. They were not important to me in any way. Lifting my head and tail, I stalked out of the den and padded across the camp. Watching Leafpool and Jaypaw pad past me to the elders, I slipped into the medicine cats' den.

Brackenfur lay awake, with Cinderfur asleep at his side for company. He purred tensely when he saw me coming through the entrance of the den. I purred back, curling myself in front of him. I asked in concern, "How are you? Better?" My neck fur prickled when I heard his terrified screech echo from my memory as he fell into the hollow.

"I'm getting there." He grunted. His eyes shined with amusement and he teased, "My leg might take longer to heal that my shoulder!"

Both of our eyes glanced down at his leg. The wound my desperate grip had left was still raw and seeping. Brackenfur and I chuckled together. I apologized, "I didn't mean to bite quite that hard. I just didn't have anything else I could do."

My friend gently nudged me and promised, "It's okay. I'm grateful that you tried to help me." Before I could say anything more to him, he sprung a new conversation. "So, Jaypaw tells me... You and Hollypaw?"

I looked up to meet his gaze. He looked a little bit surprised, but non judgmental or disapproving. I felt my entire body shake a little with the force of the purr that rumbled out of my throat. "Yes, me and Hollypaw."

Brackenfur smiled. "That's really great, Ashfur. Hollypaw is a good cat. I'm happy for you, and I mean it."

What had I ever done for a friend as great as him? He was supportive of this new relationship. That was good. He was a respected cat, and he had always been wise. Having him on my side might lure some of our clanmates into being less shocked by this turn of events.

A rather dark growl suddenly bubbled out of Brackenfur's throat, making me jump a little in surprise. He winced and carefully rolled onto his good side. Poppyspots stirred beside him. Alarmed, I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Ah, it's my shoulder. It's starting to burn again." He answered distractedly.

"Should I fetch Leafpool?" I offered instantly.

Cinderfur's head popped up. Half dazed from sleep she mumbled, "He needs poppy seeds, and his dose of comfrey." Before we could move, she passed over to the herb store. Neither of us complained. She had spent so much time in here when she broke her leg it was not surprising she knew more than we did. She would have gotten Leafpool or Jaypaw if she didn't think she knew the right herbs.

After his dose had been taken, she left and I shared tongues with my friend until he had fallen asleep.

* * *

The next sunhigh I was on a patrol with Spiderleg, Mouseclaw, and Hollypaw. It went quite well. I took Lionpaw out for some training before dusk had settled.

The next morning at dawn Squirrelflight awakened me. Her eyes were guarded and her voice unusually dull when she reminded, "Hunting." Saying nothing else, she nudged Brook away and the two she-cats left the den. I was secretly glad she wasn't going to make a fuss over this like Brambleclaw was trying to. She _was_ a good cat. If it would hurt her daughter, she would avoid doing it.

I joined the she-cats and Lionpaw at the thorn barrier. Graystripe arrived with Hollypaw and Foxpaw in tow. The troop of us silently filed into the forest and took up positions among the herd. Graystripe was in the front with Brook. Foxpaw was between Squirrelflight and myself. Hollypaw and Lionpaw were behind us in the rear.

Foxpaw chattered quietly this bright, early morning. Squirrelflight nodded along, her fierce green gaze pinning me down from afar. I felt my eyes narrow considerably, suddenly glaring at nothing but her. I didn't even consciously notice Foxpaw had shot forward after some prey. All I saw was the murderous green eyes of the shadow of my past. Maybe she wouldn't _say_ anything, but she didn't need words. I could find my way through her heart like I could find my way through the camp.

She was watching me, and she was going to make sure I didn't hurt her daughter.

I wasn't bothered by the unspoken challenge. I relished it. Obstacles to scale made the journey that much more fun, not harder. Nothing was too difficult for love to overcome.

"Windclan!" Foxpaw yowled, tearing back towards us. Many warriors were hot on his tail, their eyes glimmering with a hard light as they launched themselves at us.

One of the younger warriors, the black she-cat Nightcloud, crashed into me in an attempt to pin me. I felt her claws sink deeply into my shoulder and ribcage. Hissing, I allowed myself to flop onto my side. Using her momentum against her, I managed to flip her onto her back and hold her under my greater weight. She yowled so loudly my ear rang as I sank my teeth deeply into her neck.

Spitting like a demon, Crowfeather scored his claws down my back to make me let go of his mate. I yelped, startled, and was forced to spring away. The lean warrior shoved Nightcloud behind him. She was absorbed into the fray, and the two of us were left glaring at one another.

I heard a familiar caterwaul and glanced over his shoulder in time to see Hollypaw send Weselfur flying. Before she could so much as chase after his retreating form, Tornear landed on her.

I gasped, "Hollypaw!"

Crowfeather stiffened and quickly glanced over his shoulder. In his distraction, Graystripe leapt on top of him. I dodged them and bundled towards Hollypaw. Terror jolted my body when I saw his jaws about to clamp onto her throat.

Anger lent me strength as I sharply bit down into Tornear's scruff. He screeched as I heaved him backwards and slammed his large body into the rock under our paws. I sprang on top of him and sank all my claws into his stomach, tearing fur off of his shoulder with a vicious bite.

The tomcat snarled and spat as he struggled against me. I was upturned and bounced against the hard ground. I wailed in fury as I my sight bleached red. Bloodlust washed through me as I raked my claws across his eyes.

I wanted to kill him. He was going to hurt _my_ Hollypaw. He was going to murder her- an apprentice! I _really_ wanted to kill him.

This black sort of hate, a sort I had never felt before, helped me yank him down and force his belly to the ground. I felt blood well between my claws as I gouged them down his spine. He scrambled free of me and unsteadily dashed back towards the border. I stood still and tried to catch my breath.

The whole exchange had taken no more then five heartbeats, but I was sure he bore wounds he would feel for a moon to come. Nobody was going to hurt Hollypaw and get away with it.

_Nobody_.

The blood rushing through my ears almost deafened me to our deputy's powerful battle cry. I didn't even see which others were with him to send the Windclan cats running. I whirled around; feeling my heart skip a beat with relief when I saw Hollypaw was all right.

I dashed over to her, burying my nose into her bleeding muzzle. Droplets of it started to mingle with both my own and Tornear's. I fretted as she purred, "Oh, Hollypaw, I thought I was going to lose you!"

I rasped my tongue against her shoulder wound. She nudged my cheek affectionately and tried to laugh off the fear I could smell radiating from her pelt. She changed the topic, sort of. "You _flayed _Tornear! I've never seen a warrior fight like that before, Ashfur."

I lifted my head, locking my eyes onto hers. No, she never should see warriors fight the way I just had. That was not even a degree of danger and hate that the _bitterest_ of enemies should shed upon each other. No cat should ever want to kill like I just had.

But I did, and she had seen it. Not only that, she was _proud_ of me for protecting her like I had. I couldn't stop myself from purring. I promised whole-heartedly, "Anything for you, Hollypaw."

She turned her head suddenly, and gasped. I followed her gaze and felt myself stiffen. Patchy and horrifically torn apart, Lionpaw lay half-concealed in a swathe of bracken. I bounded over there, hovering a few paces back. Orders and words were shouted behind me, but I didn't hear any of them.

The last cat I had seen like that was Hawkfrost, and those were memories I would rather not have to relive. I was a different tom back in those times. I was distorted by hurt and hope, and manipulated by Tigerstar's cunning son.

A small shiver ran down my spine and I shook the thoughts away from my mind.

Jawpaw arrived on the scene a millisecond later. He was blind and in the path of many cats he could run into, but for his brother it would seem he had perfect eyesight. He weaved through the tense throng with expert skill- even shoulder Brambleclaw away from my side.

Stumbling beside Hollypaw he demanded, his voice sharp with a mixture of professionalism and fear, "Hollypaw, is he breathing?"

An eerie silence spread through the warriors gathered behind me as Hollypaw pressed her nose to her brother's neck. Her hackles began to bristle and she reported, "I don't think so."

* * *


	5. The Aftermath

* * *

Firestar, who's voice alerted me to his presence, told everyone to follow Leafpool to the training hollow for medical attention. My scratches were many, but few of them deep. I stubbornly stayed where I was to hear the verdict of my apprentice. Just as the paws began rustling the other direction, Jaywing blurted, "He's alive. Hollypaw, cobwebs."

Hollypaw started scrambling to obey her brother's orders. I watched tensely as he started preparing something. I asked once the heartbeats of silence started to smother me, "Is he going to be okay?"

"Why are you treating him here, and not moving him to the hollow?" Brambleclaw asked as an addition to my query.

"Firestar?" Jaywing asked our leader distractedly.

The big ginger tom came forward and asked quietly, "Yes, Jaywing?"

Hollypaw and her brother looked directly at one another. Hollypaw's fearful eyes betray that she was scared for Lionpaw. Jaywing spoke to Firestar again, "Lionpaw might not make it, but…"

Jaywing fell silent, unsure of what he was asking for. Firestar's head nodded and he agreed with the unsaid statement. "But he deserves to die a warrior."

Die a warrior? Die! I glanced down at Lionpaw's bleeding body, was he that hurt? Was my apprentice no going to live? It would be a huge waste for Thunderclan, and unfair for him. He'd worked so hard. Hollypaw would be crushed...

Right, Hollypaw! I snapped my eyes back to her as Firestar went closer. I invited, "Hollypaw, come and sit with me." Firestar had moved our medicine cat aside, he probably wanted some room.

She shook her head no. I kept my patience, but made sure there was a sharp urgency to my tone when I called to her again. "Hollypaw!" I'd go forward and drag her away if I had to. Well, maybe not. Then again...

Hollypaw shivered and glanced at m before mechanically slinking over to my side. She shivered against my shoulder, her cloudy eyes glancing at her grandfather and brother.

Firestar looked a little lost as he glanced down at the apprentice. I figured he was thinking of the last cat he had seen in this position--Brightheart after the dog attack when Bluestar had named hr Lostface. I sincerely hoped Lionpaw would get a kinder name than that. He deserved it.

"I ask my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has learned the warrior code and has given up his life in service to his clan." Firestar recited, his paw gently liting to rest on the young tom's bloody body. "He will be knows as Lionfang. May Starclan receive him with honor."

Hollypaw made some sot of strangled sound and shoved her muzzle into my chest fur. I frowned and set my leg over her back, holding her as close to me as she could possibly get. I hung my head and just hoped my silent presence could comfort he adequately.

After a short while Firestar shook his shock away and glanced over his shoulder. "You all need to rest. Three of you are hurt, and Brambleclaw, you've been up all night."

Hollypaw stumbled forward and came to stand with her brothers. She whispered, "I can't leave him, Firestar. I have to stay here."

Firestar nodded sadly. "Okay, you can stay, Hollypaw. The rest of you, lets go."

He jerked his head for me and Brambleclaw to go. Wrapping his tail around Squirrelflight's shoulder he led her behind us. We all halted by the warrior's den. I glanced back behind me warily, wishing I was with them up there instead in here in the hollow. I needed to be with them.

I sat outside the den licking my bleeding wounds for a while. Leafpool soon returned with the other warriors. She got a good sight of me and ordered firmly, "Ashfur, I must tend to you. Fetch Squirrelflight and come to my den, now."

I nodded stiffly and watched he go. Prodding the she-cat awake I stalked off to the little cave and flopped into a nest, falling asleep--brooding about not being with Hollypaw.  


* * *

There was a ruckus inside of the den just after moonhigh. I lifted my head, which felt like it was full of rocks because of the poppy seeds I had been given just a short time ago after waking up with rather severe body aches.

Jaywing, Cloudtail and Thornclaw had Lionfang wedged in between the three of them as they carefully carried his unconscious body into the den. Leafpool prodded some moss into a thick nest and instructed, "Lay his down carefully. Don't jar the wounds."

The three cats lowered him into the nest more careful than a queen sets down a kit. Brackenfur asked groggily, "Is he going to make it?"

"He'll be fine." Jaywing answerd instantly, shoving the edges of the moss closer to him to create sort of a wall. "Cloudtail, go fetch Poppyspots. She's been worrying with the elders since sunhigh."

The white warrior turned and swiftly padded out of the den. Thornclaw asked, "Do you need anything else?"

Leafpool decided, "Send Firestar and Brambleclaw." Thornclaw dipped his head and turned to leave the den.

"Should we wake Squirrelflight?" Jaywing asked, his sightless eyes settling onto his sleeping mother. She was breathing very deeply, having fallen asleep on her own from exhaustion than needing something to aid her.

"No, let her sleep." Leafpool answered as Poppyspots darted into the den. Her eyes looked frantic for a second until they landed onto Lionfang. Her body relaxed considerably and she curled up behind him, setting her chin on an un-wounded foreleg.

Brackenfur promised his daughter, "He's going to be all right, Poppyspots. Leafpool and Jaywing will take good care of him." The young she-cat purred in appreciation but said nothing.

I felt myself dozing off again as the leader and deputy made their way into the den. I missed an exchange of words before I could yank myself back into full awareness. Firestar went to talk to Brackenfur as Brambleclaw gently licked Squirrelflight's flank a few times.

"Brambleclaw," I asked sleepily. "How is Hollypaw?"

His fierce amber eyes locked onto mine. I held the gaze strongly and waited for an answer. He wasn't dumb enough to show his hostility towards me with Firestar a tail-length away. He answered cooly, "She's fine. She's sleeping with Foxpaw, I believe."

"They both need their rest." Leafpool added instantly. I figured that was a warning for me to leave her alone for at least tomorrow. I hated the idea of her not being at my side all the time. I could watch her and protect her if she was always at my side. But if it was for her health...

"Hey, do you have someone to lead the dawn patol?" I offered instead. That would get me out of the camp before she was awake.

"Ashfur," Jaywing spoke sharply, "You need your rest, too. If you let those poppy seeds do as they'e supposed to, you won't even be awake until well into sun-up."

I glared at the tom and protested, "Leafpool cleared me after dawn! I'm injured, not dead. I can still patrol my borders."

"The dawn patrol is checking out the Windclan border." Brambleclaw announced. "With the way you fought yesterday... I don't think they'll be wanting to see you again any time soon."

Brackenfur purred in amusement. Even Leafpool and Poppyspots looked amused--the latter a tad admiring. They took Brambleclaw's words as deserved praise for my skill in battle. I didn't know why, but I felt a little suspicious of them. Then again, I was always suspicious of the things he said . and did.

"Brambleclaw," Firestar addressed his depty. "Why not let him lead the sunhigh patrol?"

"Alright." He accepted his leader's request instantly. "Take Brightheart, Berrynose, and Sorreltail along with you."

"Get some sleep!" Jaywing reminded again a moment later. Sighing under my breath I settled back into my nest. I was taken by the blackness before I realized it.  


* * *

I had woken fully a bit before sunhigh. I felt refreshed by the idea of getting out into the forest and stretching my cramping body. The worst thing to do with tight muscles was let them rest, that's what Cinderpelt once told me.

Leafpool slathered my multitude of scratched with marigold. She joked, "You'd have to no fur left if you had fought any longer."

Lionfang, who had woken just a few brief moments ago, joked half-hearted, "We'd have to change your name to Tattypelt."

I chuckled at his words wy Leafpool bgan applying cobwebs to my body. Lionfang was rarely in this good humored of a mood. Perhaps the thought that he was now a warrior, despite the unconventional coming to it, was lifting his spirits.

Leafpool let me leave, and I bounced out into the sunlight. A moment later Hollypaw streaked over to me, her eyes narrow and her fur bristling a little bit. Her voice was unusually sharp when she informed me, "We're going hunting."

I was quite suddenly confused, and I couldn't help but blink at her in wonder. I was happy, but confused. When did she ever come and suggesr we spend time together? I didn't imagine she was avoiding me, not really, but it took effort of my pat sometimes to track her down!

"I'm supposed to lead the sunhigh patrol, though." I answered before really thinking. So many seasons of putting warrior duties above personal life had a lasting effect on some of us!

Th familiar flash of anger in those familiar green eyes made waves of neausea wash over me as a couple useless memories sparked in my mind. Anger towards me was not an emotion I ever wanted out of Hollypaw.

"Fine!" She snapped, growling in frustration. "If the patrol is more important then me, then that's just fine."

Wait, what?

Before I could ask her what was bothering her so much, or calm her down a little, she turned and fled for the ravine. Startled, I yowled her name and darted after her. A streak of ginger cut me off, and I was forced to skid to a half before I bowled Squirrelflight right off her paws.

"Ashfur, stop." She ordered, glancing hastily over her shoulder at where her daughter disappeared to. I felt rage surge forward. Who was she to stop me from finding my own mate?

My fur fluffed out and I unsheathed my claws. I curled my lip back and snarled, "Get out of my way, Squirrelflight!"

I heard several shocked murmurs float among the watching clanmates. Squirrelflight didn't flinch away, she drew herself to her full height and glared right back. She hissed, "Ashfur, you really need to calm down. I just think it would be better if I went and talked with her."

I made a conscious effort to force my fur flat. It was still bristling, but it wasn't standing on end anymore. That was good enough for me. I took a step back and nodded tensely. She turned and streaked through the bramble barrier.

I jumped a little bit when Brightheart came to stand beside me. She offered gently, "I can ask Cloudtail to come with the patrol, if you want to wait here for them."

I glanced gratefully at her and accepted quietly, "Thank you, Brightheart." I padded back towards the clearing of the hollow and stiffly layed back, waiting for Squirrelflight and Hollypaw to return.

* * *


	6. Dark Realization

* * *

I watched the barrier for what seemed like three eternities. The very instant I saw a black smudge wiggling through it, I hastily stood up and sprang across the hollow.. I skidded in front of my beloved and worried a-loud, "Hollypaw, I'm sorry about earlier! I should have gone with you. I should have never chosen anything over you. I'm so sorry."

I knew how much it hurt to have the cat you love deem something as more important. It was not long since my bleeding had stopped. Not long since my heart was wrapped with cobwebs.. I was still healing. Hollypaw had the power to fix my wounds, as she had the power to deepen them until they were lethal.

She was both my warrior and my medicine cat. I had to be the safe for her, which meant I always had to put her first.

Hollypaw's ears flicked and she purred lightly, "Stupid furball, it's okay. I know that you need to protect the clan, too." She nudged me and added, "ThunderClan would never manage without my big, strong warrior."

I felt myself swell with pride and hope alike, to a degree I'd never experienced before. She called me hers. She claimed me as a possession, something that she and only she was allowed to have. That meant she finally knew the rules of my game and she was not only accepting them, but she was enforcing them on her own end.

Excellent.

"Do you still want to hunt?" I asked her before anything else. If she wanted it, then it was the most urgent of things. I'd chase my tail at the Gathering if she'd only ask.

"No, but I need to talk to you." She informed me, flicking her tail for me to follow her. We retreated to the far end of the hollow, out of the range of even Brook- who could hear extremely well because of where she was born.

"Do you really love me?" Hollypaw asked, shocking me to the core.

I glanced at her and agreed, "Of course I do!" Didn't she know that already? How did she have trouble figuring it out; when I was so willing and ready to do anything for her? "How could you have to ask me that?"

I fell silent when she shook her head at me. She asked suddenly, "Would you fight for me, Ashfur?"

She knew I would. I had done it yesterday. Perhaps that was not enough for her, though. Maybe she wanted to hear something better than that.

I jerked my chin up in a flare of defiance towards all I knew, and I promised, "Hollypaw, I would fight Starclan if you asked me to."

I watched her carefully. She seemed to glow with the happiness my words spread through her. I leaned forward and purred tenderly, "I would die for you." That left her looking stunned. I brushed my cheek against her affectionately, trying to make a point that I was here for her always. Even during a simple conversation like this.

I felt her eyes looking over my head. I followed her line of sight to see Mouseclaw crouching there, looking at us from over his should from where he was sharing some freshkill with Berrynose. Why did she keep clinging onto him? I felt a snarl, darker and more passionate than usual, rumble from my chest. I would put a stop to this instantly. I would let her know that if I was to be only hers, she was to be only mine.

I shifted myself so that I stood in front of her, cornering her to the edge of the hollow as well as blocking her view from everything other than myself. I glared down at her, flickering my eyes back to the insolent boy. She was mine. This was only a two player game, sorry Mouseclaw. Under my breath I promised, "Hollypaw. I would kill for you."

Our eyes locked. I was internally struggling against my own desires to hurt her. To bite her shoulder and leave a mark--my claiming scar--on her flesh forever. To claw her in the ears and demand she stop having disloyal thoughts.

The young cat shrank under my gaze. I realized it was time for me to turn away from her. Time to give her some space as well as take some space to avoid my wildler half. I collected Cloudtail and Thornclaw and led the two toms off on a hunting patrol by the lake.

* * *

I was kept busy the next two suns when Brambleclaw asked me to keep up Foxpaw's training while Squirrelflight was in the medicine cat's den. Spiderleg was helping, because the large apprentice posed a risk to my just-healing wounds.

Sundown, the third day after my conversation with Hollypaw, Firestar approached me. He said that now that Lionfang could walk well enough, his and Hollypaw's official warrior ceremonies were going to be held. I collect my former apprentice. He was already a warrior, and he seemed a bit nervous to be participating in a ceremony when he didn't know why. I gave him a reassuring nudge to his good shoulder as we settled in front Hollypaw and Graystripe.

"Today I call us together to recognize the bravery and skill of two fine cats." Firestar yowled strongly, indicating for me and Lionfang to come forward. I led him to the bottom of the highrock, in front of our leader, with pride in m step. As hard as it was to get along with the fiery and independent tom, I really had to admit he was a cat the whole clan would one day honor and respect. He had the makings of a clan leader in him.

Firestar's deep green eyes shined. "Lionfang, do you promise to uphold the warrior code, to serve and protect this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Lionfang purred proudly, "I almost have already."

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath. Firestar smiled a bit before declaring loudly, "Then by the powers of Starclan I confirm your warrior name, Lionfang, and welcome you as a full warrior of Thunderclan."

Lionfang beamed in pride, wincing only a little as the wound across his throat bothered him. I backed away and settled in beside Daisy, watching the other half of the ceremony with acute interest.

"Hollypaw, please come forward." Firestar summoned. Graystripe set his tail on her flank as they obeyed the request. I felt myself sort of leering at her as she regally approached her leader. Her body rippled with the strong, toned muscles the best of warriors had. She was so lean and beautiful and perfect...

My time taken to bask in her glow deafened me to Firestar's voice. I turned back in just in time to hear her name announced. "...moment on you will be known as Hollythorn. StarClan welcomes you as a full warrior of Thunderclan."

I sprang to my feet, feeling my fur fluff out in excitement for these two young cats, both connected to me. I yowled as loud as I possibly could, "Lionfang, Hollythorn! Lionfang, Hollythorn!" The rest of the clan joined in, our voices thundering off the steep edges of the hollow.

I settled back and watched, pride swelling within me, as the two cats took off for their vigil. Hollythorn shared a few words with Brackenfur before the disappeared through the thorn barrier.

* * *

It was barely into daytime when I woke the next morning. The den was nearly empty. Lionfang was sleeping in a newly built nest, and Dustpelt was curled up with Ferncloud. I think he liked having her back in the den with him.

Stretched the stiffness from my legs and back, I padded out into the hollow. I settled back to watched Hollythorn and Mouseclaw when I spotted them talking at the foot of the highledge. Mouseclaw laughed, and she brushed her muzzle against his. I felt my fur bristling with hostility as the two of them started whispering.

She was keeping something from me.. Her actions towards me, all the purrs and rubs and idle conversation, were clear indications that she loved me. Why would she keep doing these things then? Why would she intentionally hurt my by wasting her affection on him?

Maybe she doesn't love you.

I felt myself growling at such nonsense thoughts. Of course she loved me! She wanted to be with me!

She's never said it...

I shook my head. She had to care for me. She... just... had to. I had nobody else. I had nothing, except for her.

I had zoned out in thought, missing a few exchanges. I was surprised to see Hollythorn give a sad head shake. Mouseclaw sighed heavily and pressed his nose to hers in farewell. She licked his cheek and turned away from him.

Hollythorn met my eye. I felt hate start to blacken my chest as we looked at one another. Have I been living in my own lie? Was it possible that I couldn't make her feel for me the same way I felt for her? Were we really doomed to that bitter sort of fate?

I didnt know.

But I was sure as Starclan going to find out.

* * *


	7. Mind Crumble

_A/N: Sorry for the delay. I had to hiatus the story because life got really hectic. It's back now!! *cheers*_

* * *

Hollythorn built her nest beside me that night, falling asleep with me as darkness befell the hollow. I woke after she had left the den, stretching myself out before I padded out into the open. Ferncloud abandon a chat she was having with Spiderleg and Daisy after spotting me, and she bounded over to my side.

"Are you up for some hunting, Ashfur?" My sister asked me cheerfully, her tail waving behind her.

"Just us?" I asked, looking around somewhat frantically. I had slept darkly last night, plagued with unsettling dreams about Hollythorn. I needed to talk to her, to see her, to feel her brushed up against me. I had to be sure she was still mine.

Ferncloud did not understand. She mistook my emotions for simple worry and laughed, head butting my chest gently. "I know you're worried about her being out without you, but she's a warrior now. You just have to trust her skills."

"Okay." I sighed, forcing myself to look more relaxed. I couldn't let anyone know about my darker half, not even my sister. I could not let it show to anyone---except for Hollythorn. She was the only one I could trust to keep it a secret.

I started leading us out of the tunnel. Once we had reached the top of the ravine Ferncloud innocently struck up the conversation again. "Do you remember how tense Dustpelt was when we went on our first mission together as warriors without him?"

I did remember. We had a simple mission, though somewhat dangerous if we went about it wrong. A Twoleg had sent up an odd nest just outside of ShadowClan's border, in an area they never really visited. (As scent allowed us to know, not spying.) Firestar was worried for them, Twolegs threaten us all. He sent us to deliver the message to Blackstar.

We were fine, but Dustpelt had a fit when he found out we were going alone. Firestar quieted him down, and after we returned he had grudgingly accepted the idea that Ferncloud did not need him to protect her anymore.

The very idea of that distressed me more than anything. What if that happened with me now? What if Hollythorn would realize she did not need me, and she ventured away from my side? My fur prickled at the idea. I needed her in my life. She _was_ my life. She could not go anywhere. I had to formulate a plan. I _had_ to make sure she was mine, forever and for always.

Something crashed through the foliage up ahead of where we had wandered. Icepaw appeared, her eyes lighting up when she saw us. She streaked over and greeted, "Hello!"

"Icepaw, are you out all alone?" Ferncloud asked her daughter in an astonished tone. She never was one to break the rules, but perhaps she was having a hunting assessment?

"No," she denied. "I'm on Hollythorn's patrol! They're just back towards the---"

She had not the chance to finish her through. Before anyone could do so much as blink, several shadows leapt out from the bushes. Icepaw yelped in shock when Breezepaw landed on her, sinking his teeth into the thick fur around her neck.

The others came at us in a flurry; we couldn't have helped her no matter how hard we tried. Ferncloud disappeared under two bigger cats, and Emberfoot knocked me clean off of my paws before I had the chance to try and defend my sister or niece.

The young and somewhat inexperienced warrior did not have the chance to latch onto me and deliver any wounds. He had collided with me so hard we _both_ went tumbling a few tail-lengths. I hissed crossly as I felt the thorns of a bramble bush piercing through my coat, tearing the flesh of my chest.

I heard Emberfoot yowl; he was caught as well, a very small distance from me. It was probably his first time encountering this sort of shrubbery, and I used that to my advantage. I gritted my teeth and yanked myself out of the tangle, ignoring the burn of losing a few good clumps of fur.

I sprang on top of Emberfoot a heartbeat later, snarling as I sank my teeth deeply into his throat. The bite was not shallow; it was deep enough to kill. I was surprised to feel myself experience the urge to _want_ to kill him. To make him pay for daring to threaten the safety of ThunderClan a second time this moon.

A furious caterwauling shattered through the air as Hollythorn and the other warriors in her patrol arrived. I had been distracted by their appearance; unconsciously loosening the grip I had on the gray tom's neck. I heard him take a haggard breath, using the oxygen to screech for help from his clanmates.

A small blur came to his aid. Whitetail, one of WindClan's most senior warriors, barreled into me and slammed me into the ground. Emberfoot fled, and Whitetail showed no mercy as she avenged her nearly fallen clanmate. Her ears wee pinned back against her head and she snarled, raking her back feet against my side with the formidable leg-strength the runner possessed.

I felt my own blood gush out of the vicious wound, and I cried out as I started to thrash in an attempt to escape her. The other ThunderClan warriors were not willing to watch her shred me.

Hazelpelt skidded over to out side and sank her teeth violently into Whitetail's shoulder, dragging the enemy she-cat off of me and making her wail in pain. Hazelpelt was knocked aside, but Poppyspots did not give Whitetail a chance to attack her before she slashed her claws across Whitetail's ear. Outnumbered and defeated, Whitetail turned tail and raced after her retreating clanmates.

Hazelpelt dashed back over to me side as I staggered to my feet, asking nervously, "Ashfur, are you okay?"

Hollythorn's loud battle cry rattled in my ears, and I totally ignored the young she-cat's question as I searched desperately for my beloved. I relaxed a little when I saw that she was in a tumble with Tornear, and holding her own against him well.

Crowfeather, the only remaining of the raiding part besides Tornear, darted forward to assist his friend. I ordered the other ThunderClanners sharply, "Stop him!"

Immediately, without asking why, Icepaw and Ferncloud dashed forward and intercepted Crowfeather, both of my kin snarling at him and forcing him to take a few steps backwards. I padded over there and took my sister's position, glaring at Crowfeather with cold blue eyes. I growled, "This is a battle that goes beyond us."

As furious as he looked, he did not argue. As all heads turned to watch the two cats square off, he seemed to understand that this was a personal fight which did not merit anyone interfering.

The two of them sprang in the exact heartbeat, crashing into one another hard and striking at one another before they even fell to the ground. Tornear ended up on top of Hollythorn, but she was not to be beaten by him a second time. She had her jaws snapped so hard, so deeply, into the sensitive tendons of his foreleg that he had to retreat. He struggled out of her grasp and limped swiftly away. Crowfeather turned and streaked after him.

Poppyspots yowled her victory threats after them, and Ferncloud laughed to the others how lucky it was they arrived. I cared only about one thing, my Hollythorn.

I bounded around the others and joined her, pressing my nose against the cheek of hers that was not bleeding. I purred, "I'm so glad you're safe. That was well fought, a moment ago."

She purred back at me, and I felt a rush of hope surge through me. Well, maybe it was just exhaustion? I was getting dizzy from the blood loss, but I didn't want to alarm Hollythorn and tell her how weak I felt. I could see Leafpool as soon as we were back at the hollow.

Hollythorn brushed up against me, unfortunately on my wounded side. She bounced away a step and looked down, gasping in horror. "Ashfur, you're hurt!"

She was worried. She cared about me. Or did she? I had to know, it was driving me insane. I leaned in closer to her, making sure only she would hear me. "Hollythorn, I love you."

I gazed deeply into her eyes. Neither of us blinked, we scarcely breathed. I was mentally trying to will her, with all of my might, to reciprocate. She was silent, for some reason. She said... nothing.

She eventually managed, "D-don't talk, A-Ashfur. Lie down and save your energy."

A swift, violent blow struck my heart, more painful than any wound another warrior could inflict me with. It was a raw, hideous sort of hurt that only Hollythorn could have ever caused.

_She hates you._

_She will never love you._

_You're nothing to her, absolutely nothing._

_Useless._

I sank to the ground and started breathing heavily, ignoring Ferncloud as she came over to my side. I felt confusion ebbing into my thoughts, and I didn't know what else to do except just sit quietly and watch Hollythorn walk away from me. 


	8. Mine Alone

Shortly after Hollythorn had disappeared into the forest, the dizzy blackness swimming in my brain consumed me. I heard some murmurs in my head, but I couldn't tell if it was StarClan deciding if I had to die, or if it was my clan mates trying to help me out. Everything was just... dark.

Some time later I woke, the feeling of somebody nudging me, roughly rousing me from my state of half-consciousness. Leafpool's sharp voice suddenly echoed through her den. "Jaywing, be more gentle than that! He's still very hurt!"

I flickered my eyes open, seeing that Jaywing was hovering literally a mouse-length away from me, his muzzle on my shoulder we he tried to roll me, or something. I asked them, "What are you doing?"

His ears perked and he snapped his head up, his sightless eyes gazing directly at me and making my fur prickle. "Leafpool wanted you on a new nest. You've bled all over this one."

I glanced down, only just realizing the macabre scene I was part of. My nest was stained with recently dry blood, a few fresh smudges standing out. My side, which was raw still and burning, was seeping slowly. My fur was clean; I suspected the medicine cats had wanted me to look as non-dying as possible for all of our clanmates.

I winced as I pushed myself up to my paws, making it easier for Jaywing to clear the moss out of the den and lessen the thick scent of blood that was hanging around.

Leafpool came over to me, setting down an herb wrap. "I have some chamomile and poppy there for you. It will help with the pain. Jaywing will change your dressing, I'll fetch you something to eat."

She turned and dashed out of the den, leaving me to her apprentice. He chattered about my healing progress, and estimated time until full recovery, between removing the old cobwebs and collecting some goldenrod together. I ignored him, even interrupting him when my curiosity got the better of me.

"Where is Hollythorn?" I asked suddenly, clearly throwing him off guard as he glanced at me sharply.

"Oh." He responded, shaking himself a bit before giving a real answer. "She's been waiting for you all night. But I need to dress the wound before you—"

I didn't give him the chance to finish before I limped my way past and pushed myself out into the open of the hollow. I froze in my tracks several steps later, because what was it that I saw halfway across the hollow? _My_ Hollythorn all cuddled up to that barn cat, looking ready to burst with glee as he groomed her ears. As he dared to touch ears which belonged solely to _me_. And she... was happy…

She really did hate me. I tried to do everything for her, and it wasn't enough. I was never going to be good enough in her eyes. Why didn't she want me? What was wrong with me?

Her dazzling emerald eyes locked onto me. She swiftly ducked away from Mouseclaw, lifting her tail and happily acknowledging, "You're okay!" I watched her with a hollow heart as she whisked over to me. She reached forward to touch noses, I snapped my head aside and backed away from her.

Anger pulsated deep in my veins and I growled quietly, "What are you doing with _him_?"

Her eyes narrowed and she answered evenly, "He was just talking to me, Ashfur."

I snorted at her. Lies! That's why they were all up against one another and sharing tongues? "Not from what I saw. Isn't it _me_ that you love?" I felt my entire body lock up with sheer fury as I glared down at her, reliving the pain in my heart I felt after the battle. Feeling a claw gouging at my chest with every single step she took the other direction. I whispered darkly, "Oh, that's right."

I couldn't stand to be by her any longer. My pulse was fast, causing my heart to thrum angrily against my ribcage, making my blood rush hot in my veins. I just shook my head and shouldered past her, stalking towards the thorn barrier. I had to get out of here, I needed to escape and make myself relax so I could think straight.

Hollythorn pounded after me and ordered, her voice more forceful than usual, "Wait!"

I spun around to face her, claws sliding out and ears flattening against my skull. A deep, black surge of hate and hurt alike flooded forward, washing through me like the hot greenleaf sun. All of my warrior-born instincts screamed for me to launch myself at her, to _make_ her feel the same sort of pain she was causing me. I wanted to hurt her. I needed to see her lying in agony on the ground like I had.

My aggressive, instant reaction scared Hollythorn. She flattened herself down and backed away, every hair on her body standing on end. The logical half of my brain warned me to control my dark side. It told me that if I didn't flee now, I really _was_ going to do something that I was most surely going to regret.

"Hollythorn," I spat at her, desperately hoping she would heed my warning and realize that she couldn't be by me right now. Maybe she didn't love me, but I loved her more than life it's self, and I was never ever going to hurt her. I whispered, "Stay away from me."

I turned the other way, darting out of the camp as fast as I could---ignoring the surprised look of my kin, Spiderleg, as he watched me fly by. My paws carried me blindly as my revelation raced through my head.

I loved Hollythorn more than life it's self.

_More than life_.

And she didn't love me.

_How could she ever love a monster like you?_

She couldn't. She WOULDN'T, not when she had other cats to share affection with. Not when perfectly normal cats like Mouseclaw were around to be there for her. To be on the receiving end of her pure, innocent, golden love. Why would she ever choose a cat like me? A cat with... a shadow that live inside of him---a shadow that grew stronger every passing day. Threatening to overtake me, to wash away the soft, gentle, warm Ashfur I wanted Hollythorn to see.

My life was nothing without her; I didn't even see a point in living it anymore. My racing paws clumsily slowed to a stop and I stood, breathing heavily, as I blinked in surprise. That was it, wasn't it? That was the only way I had to escape this pain, this terrifying thought that every day I would see her with another cat---every day my blood would spill at my paws more and more until I was just a cold, dead, empty shell. A shell incapable of loving, because every time I had tried I was pushed away.

My senses finally caught up with me as I slowly realized where I was. Thin forestry, rabbit scent, and the sound of a fast-moving stream. I was at the WindClan border. I padded forward in a dreamlike state, coming so near to the edge of the stream that the icy spray splattered against my paws.

The stream. Water. Fast, _strong_ water. I was not a RiverClan cat like Stormfur. I couldn't swim. Hmm.

_That pretty black water can take all your pain away, Ashfur._

Dark Side was right, as always. He saw things more clearly than I ever could if I was thinking for myself. I really couldn't live without Hollythorn but who said that I had to? Who said I couldn't just… take all the pain away? Mother would be waiting for me; she would show me the way to StarClan. Then there would be nothing to worry about anymore, only peace.

Give yourself the peace, Ashfur. You don't have to suffer any longer, you have a choice. You can take it all away. Jump.

I bunched up my muscles, eyes focused on the cold almost-gravesite. I willed myself to take the plunge, but I held back. After a few seconds I took one step away, straightened to a full stand again, and sighed deeply.

What was I doing? I had a clan that needed me. With all the tension between WindClan, and ShadowClan... How could I abandon my sister like that?

_She has Dustpelt._

What about my other clan mates? The queens, the elders, the kits. They needed protecting.

_They're plenty of other warriors, Ashfur._

What about Hollythorn?

_She can have Mouseclaw._

_Jump._

But---

_Just jump!_

"Ashfur, what are you doing?"

I angled my ear sideways, my brain registering the voice as Hollythorn. I couldn't decide how to react to this. I had asked her to stay away from me, I feared more than anything that I would hurt her. And yet, here she was. She wasn't afraid of me. Was that a good thing?

I answered without really thinking, a heavy sigh escaping my chest. "I wonder what if feels like."

She inched nearer to me and asked curiously, "Like what feels like."

I felt my head turn sideways thoughtfully. I was lost in my own mind, I barely even registered what was happening---that I was actually talking to Hollythorn, who was actually right there. "To drown." I admitted quietly. "To have water fill your lungs and cut off your breath while you're still alive."

Would it hurt, drowning? Would it be very painful to have your lungs fill with water and make it impossible to breathe? Or... maybe it would be peaceful. Maybe the lack of oxygen would make me pass out, and I wouldn't even realize the stream was throwing me around.

"No, Ashfur! Don't do it!" Hollythorn suddenly wailed, her voice desperate and afraid. It jarred me out of my self-contemplation. "Please, come to me."

I glanced at her sharply, sickened by her worry. Did she even care? Was this all a game, was she only saying what she would be expected to say? Or did she really want me to stay with her?

_Of course she doesn't. She wants you to jump_.

I almost believed Dark Side, but part of me had to make sure he was right. I pretended not to care what she answered and I spat, "Then tell me you love me, Hollythorn! I _told_ you I would die for you. I love you!" Didn't she get it? How much clearer could I say it? What more could I do to prove it to her!?

I narrowed my eyes and flexed my claws, digging them into the ground. I slowly, intensely, tried to make her understand the depth of my attachment to her. "I love you to _death_." Suspicion rose inside of me and I asked scarcely, "Don't you love me, too?"

Her eyes flickered for a second, almost like she was going to answer, but she said nothing. I cried out desperately, "_Say it!_"

"I- I…" She started to say, trying to force herself to comply with my wishes. No words came out. She didn't even tell me how little she liked me, she just said… nothing.

I told you, Ashfur. Go ahead and jump now.

I crouched down again, tensing my back legs and wiggling my rump a little bit. I fixed a focused stare onto the black, bubbling water, and then---

And then Hollythorn erupted into motion, skidding in front of me to block my path into the watery grave. She balanced dangerously on the half-inch space between my paws and the little drop down into the river. Before I could do so much as blink, she poured out her honest feelings in a rush.

"I love you Ashfur." She meowed shakily, and hearing those words come out of her mouth sent a sharp thrill down my spine. She wasn't finished, though. She pressed her cheek against my chest and promised passionately, desperately, "Please, I love you! I could never live without you. Don't leave me all alone."

I was started back into mental coherency, and I realized how risky it was for us to be so very near to toppling into the river. I grabbed onto Hollythorn's scruff, having trouble holding onto her through the force of my purr. I took a few steps back, tugging her trembling body onto fully solid land. She leaned into me as she shook, allowing me to comfort her with a few soothing licks. Once she seemed to calm down, she glanced at me.

I gazed at her intently, and she did not look away. I asked hopefully, "Hollythorn, tell me how much you love me."

"More than life it's self." She answered roughly. Pleasure and glee bubbled through my entire body, making it feel like I was made out of air. I felt a big smile lighting up my face as I gazed down at her.

_Tell her how much you love her, Ashfur._

"Do you remember the day I said I would kill for you?" I asked her suddenly. I knew we had a mis-communication over this. She was thinking something way off target. She was thinking something that threatened to me make me look like a monster.

"I remember." She whispered, her voice small. I knew her well enough to know she was worrying about her friend again.

My eyes narrowed into hard flints and I growled, "I didn't mean that furball, Mouseclaw." I could never kill a clan mate, not unless I absolutely _had_ to. A little glimmer of smugness burst forth and I mentioned, "If I wanted him gone, you and I both know he'd already be dead."

She looked relieved for a half of a second, before her good sense realized that left something unanswered. Who would I kill for her? She looked wary, but she asked me, "Who did you mean?"

I glanced away from her guiltily, staring up at the first few stars that were appearing in the dark sky. Could I make her understand? Could I be honest with her without caring her?

_She has to know, if she can ever truly love you. She needs to know exactly what you're willing to do to make sure she loves only you. Tell her, now._

I looked into Hollythorn's wide eyes, the tip of my tail flicking casually against me. I pressed my nose against her ear, whispering my promise to her and only her. "Hollythorn, if _I_ can't have you then _nobody_ will."


	9. The Gathering

I realized immediately the morning after the river incident, after Hollythorn had woken up and we went back to the camp, that she seemed to have finally reached some sort of inner-peace. She no longer glared at me from across the camp in distaste. She no longer clung to me one moment the hid from me the next. She no longer sought comfort from Mouseclaw, only me.

And we actually talked now, rather that having one-sided conversations. She told me that I needed to try to be more relaxed. She told me that my intensity sometimes startled her, and she didn't fully know how to cope with it. I apologized to her for frightening her like that, and I promised that I would never intentionally try to scare her. Every second since then I had been very self-aware of every single thing I was doing and I attempted to tone my usual zeal down a bit when she was near.

We spend the next quarter moon in total contentedness. The others of the clan kept their distance, and we were together as much as possible. Tonight was no different, because the both of us would be attending the Gathering.

Still, I had plans to stick with Cloudtail and Brightheart most of the time. Hollythorn was with Lionfang and her friends. I knew it was her first time at a Gathering as a warrior. She would want to spend it with them.

We all entered the Island, and I trailed after my clanmates as we approached some ShadowClan cats. Who were they? I focused ahead long enough to recognize Oakfur and Snaketail. Brightheart greeted them both, and I lay down beside Cloudtail out of instinct. My eyes wandered the clearing, looking for Hollythorn, but I couldn't find her among the thick throng of cats.

"Ashfur!"

I turned my head, giving Oakfur my attention. His eyes glinted darkly and he meowed, "News back at the clan is that you've been having yourself a good time shredding the WindClan warriors?"

I briefly wondered how he knew that, and then I realized that there had been a half-moon since the battle before last. Jayfeather may have mentioned it to Littlecloud. I just shrugged, not relishing the chance to gloat as I once had when I was younger. Not considering my apprentice had nearly died that day.

The two ShadowClan cats seemed disappointed in how little effort I gave towards their favorite topic. Cloudtail gladly filled in for me, jumping into an inflated account of how we sent half of WindClan running home in no time that day.

It wasn't long before the leaders yowled for silence and began the gathering officially. Firestar announced the new warriors, and at last I found where Hollythorn was sitting. Onestar announced warriors of his own. Blackstar had nothing to say, and Leopardstar made it known the prey was running well and that they had new kits born a few days previous.

Firestar stepped forward suddenly, his green eyes narrow and as hard as jade. He glared particularly at Onestar and spat, "I would like to know why WindClan keeps invading my territory!"

Onestar's eyes narrowed as well, and his tail lashed behind him like a whip. He flaced his claws and his voice was dark when he answered, "It won't be your territory for very long."

Leopardstar and him glanced at one another before looking away. Blackstar's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he watched, and Firestar's hackles started to rise. I heard Brightheart mutter something to Snaketail, and Cloudtail hissed. The whole clearing had started to grow uneasy over this sudden development.

A deep, sinister growl bubbled forth from Firestar, and I felt a rush of energy go though my veins as I watched the leader I had known since I was so young let some of that warrior blood pump. I went as far as to get to my paws, ready to fight if it were ordered, but Blackstar jumped in to quell the surge of hostility.

"Firestar!" He meowed from where he sat, his voice low with warning as he glanced at the sky. "Tonight it not the night for battles."

"If any Windclan cat is so much as a kittenstep over the border, we'll shred them." Firwstar growled before getting down from the tree. His tail was flicking irritable and his fur was still bristled as he stalked towards the fallen log. Brambleclaw yowled, "ThunderClan!" and then followed him.

"You'd better go." Oakfur pointed out, nodding in farewell to us.

Cloudtail grunted in agreement, eyeing some WindClan cats dangerously as he and Brightheart headed for where the clan was gathering. I padded away from the ShadowClan cats and looked around, spotting Hollythorn and Honeyleaf bear a gorse swathe. Pouncefoot was before them; a hair's length away from Hollythorn-who was bristling and growling at him.

I narrowed my eyes and swiftly walked over towards the three young warriors. I swept up beside my beloved just as Pouncefoot challenged her and she readied herself to launch at him. I gently brushed her shoulder with my tail as I came to stand at Hollythorn's shoulder. I felt my claws unsheathe when I looked at the tom.

My muscles were totally relaxed; there was no need to get wound up. I was confident I would tear this runt apart before he could beg me to stop if he _dared _to press his luck. I felt all the fury of a thousand battling cats swirling black in my heart, though, as I glared at him. He had about one half of a second to give Hollythorn and Honeyfern some space before I went ballistic.

"Is a fight _really_ what you want, Pouncefoot?" I asked the young cat, the cold challenge in my voice as bitter as leafbare frost. Fear flashed in the RiverClan cat's eyes. He recognized that I was on a whole different level than he was right now. He was just an inexperience warrior trying to stir up some mischief with an even younger warrior. He was not prepared to take on a senior warrior who was a second away from snapping.

Pouncefoot stumbled backwards towards some of his clanmates, a nervous growl slipping out of his throat before he turned tail and fled. I snorted under my breath, disgusted with his disgraceful fear. My attention flickered to the left when I heard Brambleclaw talking to Hollythorn. She seemed confused, like the rest of us were. The deputy looked at me and jerked his head, "Come talk with me."

I nodded, brushing up against Hollythorn reassuringly as I went by. She had nothing to fear so long as I was around. No cat would ever get away with coming that close to attacking her. Pouncefoot was lucky we were at a gathering, that's all I have to say.

"Ashfur, what just happened back there?" Brambleclaw asked once we were out of earshot of the younger warriors.

I shook my head, glancing back at the girls. "I don't know. I just saw them getting aggressive and went to break it up."

Brambleclaw narrowed his eyes at me and corrected sternly "You went to fill in, not break it up. I saw Pouncefoot back away quickly when you arrived. That is not how a peaceful encounter ends."

I felt my eyes flare with stubborn pride as I glared at him. "I refuse to act peacefully towards enemy warriors who would not do the same."

Brambleclaw held my gaze for a long second before he nodded stiffly. He said no more, as we had reached the fallen log and only a few of us were left to cross. The deputy went forward to assist Longtail, and I flicked at ear for Lionfang to come over to me.

I nodded towards the girls and meowed in a low voice, "They were having trouble with RiverClan. Stay with them and walk them home."

"What're they waiting for?" He asked curiously as he looked back at the two muttering cats.

"I don't know, just make sure they don't get hurt." I answered him. He nodded determinedly and I nodded back, following Brambleclaw across the fallen log and over to our waiting clan. The trio padded into the camp shortly after the rest of us had settled in. Hollythorn hovered protectively around Honeyleaf for the rest of the night.


End file.
